Fighting for our Future
by sunsetLover
Summary: What happens when Addison comes back to Seattle with a 4 year old daughter? She then asks Derek a big favor.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: My first attempt on a multi-chaptered ADDEK fic

_A/N: My first attempt on a multi-chaptered ADDEK fic. It also depends on the response that I get._

_Disclaimer: I don't own GA because if I did Addison and Derek are still together. _

Addison found herself seated in the airplane going back to Seattle. It's been 5 long years since she left and forced herself not to look back.

Five years ago, when she went to L.A in an attempt to forget Seattle and the memories that it held, she didn't know that her life was going to change drastically. Two weeks after she arrived, she found out she was already 11 weeks pregnant with Derek's baby. She wanted to tell him, she really did. But she wasn't able to gather enough courage to do so. She knew that Derek was finally happy with his new life with Meredith. She was in no place to ruin it again. She didn't want to be branded as the Satan who made the devilish ploy to trap her husband with a baby. So she decided to raise Christie alone. Well not exactly alone because Naomi and all her other friends from the Oceanside Wellness Center helped out too.

Having Christie in her life at her worst moment was the perfect timing and the best gift that she ever received. Looking back, there were times in those two weeks when she hasn't found out yet about the pregnancy that she just wanted to waste her life away - to give up. But when she did find out that another innocent life was growing inside of her, a tiny sliver of hope urged her to move on, to start a new life.

Motherhood was no easy task, Addison discovered. It can make your best day into a worst one but can also be the other way around. At the end of the day though, when Addison looks at her daughter's sleeping form, all the stress slowly dissipates and soothes the wounds brought on by the unforgotten past. Addison calls it love.

--

Addison glanced at her shoulder and saw her daughter curled in the uncomfortable airplane chair still hugging her rug doll. She hates that she is forced to do this, that she is given no choice.

Five days ago, she found out she had breast cancer. It was still on an early on-set stage so if she undergoes chemo as soon as possible, she will be able to survive it. But the first important thing that came into her mind when she found out about it was who was going to take care of Christie while she goes to therapy. She doesn't want Christie to see her when she's weak and suffering the side effects of chemo. The treatment may save your life, but the effects while undergoing it are harsh too.

She couldn't leave Christie with Naomi since her friend is also busy with her and Sam's newborn twins plus Maya who decided that it was embarrassing to have 2 newborn siblings when she's already a teenager. She has her hands full already. So that's when she decided that maybe this is the perfect chance to tell Derek about their daughter and ask his favor of looking after Christie while she goes through the treatment.

Truth is though, Addison fears for her life and her child's future. She is doing this for Christie, so that when the worst thing happens – the possibility of death, she is at peace that Christie will be in good hands – Derek's.

Addison's thoughts were disrupted when the pilot announced that they are nearing their approach. She woke Christie up. The little girl didn't seem to like the disturbance but when she saw her mommy; her eyes lit up and held out her arms for a hug. Addison took Christie and settled her on her lap, kissing the little girl's red curly locks that smelled like bubble gum.

After a few minutes, the mother and daughter stepped out of the airport. Christie who wasn't very comfortable with the new place and the rain, tugged at her mother's hand. "Mommy, why are we here? Look it's raining." Christie pointed out outside the window.

Addison smiled before answering, "We are going to see Daddy."

The little girl's eyes widened in surprise. "You mean my real daddy?"

Addison nodded "Yes, you're real daddy"

Christie's grin was already ear to ear. "Yay! But I don't like the rain mommy" she announced.

Addison scooted down and whispered to Christie's ear. "I have a secret to tell you, Mommy doesn't like the rain either" she admitted and smiled.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Here's the second chapter although I didn't really get the response that I wanted, I'm still writing it anyways

_S A/N: Here's the second chapter although I didn't really get the response that I wanted, I'm still writing it anyways. ____ Big thanks to Kerstin, my beta reader. She helped me a lot with this chapter and all the rambling____ Thanks hun___

_Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters._

After a quick stop at the hotel to drop their things and a change of clothes, the mother and daughter proceeded to Seattle Grace Hospital.

Addison looked at her watch. It said a quarter past 3 pm. Addison took Christie's hand encouragingly, taking a deep breath and made her way inside the hospital lobby.

As soon as she set foot on the lobby's marbled floor, a rush of nostalgia hit her hard. Memories which she forcefully buried came flooding back in. She couldn't bring herself to take another step as if something was holding on to her feet. Her eyes hovered around the place, it looked the same, a few upgrades here and there but the feel of the place was the nonetheless, the same.

"Mommy?" The little girl's soft voice brought Addison back to reality. "Are we going to see daddy here?" she inquired.

Before even Addison could respond she heard someone call out her name.

"Dr. Mont...Montgomery?" the tall blonde doctor asked in a rather loud and high-pitched voice.

"Stevens?"

The younger doctor eyes widened, hurriedly walking towards the red-head and giving her a tight hug. This doctor whom everybody hated back then, whom everybody called Satan's mistress and the adulterous bitch was in fact her inspiration for specializing in Neonatal and OB-GYN. They never really saw the depth of her, only believing on what they wanted to believe. "I knew it was you."

"I'm glad to see you, Izzie. As I can see too you've followed my advice to specialize in my own field." She commented after seeing the name tag on Izzie's scrub top. Despite the fact that she wasn't looking forward to return to Seattle, she was actually excited to see the people who had been nothing but good to her.

"Yes I did." The younger doctor blushed and smiled. "So what brought you back to Seattle?"

Addison shrugged her shoulders. "I just needed to talk to the Chief," she answered casually.

"And hey, you brought someone with you." Izzie scooted down to the little girl's level who was trying to hide her face behind her mother's legs and still holding tight to her rug doll. "Hi I'm Izzie, I was your mommy's student before." She introduced herself and held out her hand." The little girl didn't reply but Izzie wasn't about to give up. "I think your doll's really pretty."

The little girl's eyes lit up with the mention of her doll. "You think so?" Christie asked shyly.

"I think so." Izzie beamed widely.

"Well, her name is Rosie and my name is Christie. See, her hair is also red like mine and mommy's, though mine is curly and she's all clean now because mommy put her in the washer, although I didn't want to, but mommy said that the pilot wouldn't allow her to ride the airplane if she's dirty, so I said yes." The little girl rambled on.

"I think your mommy was right with that one." Izzie replied and stood back up to face Addison. "You have an adorable daughter."

"Yeah. Thank you." She smiled softly.

"You wanted to talk to the Chief? He retired just a year ago to spend more time with his wife. Derek replaced him." Izzie's pager went off before Addison could even utter her reply. "Well, I got to go now. It's 911. Bye Christie." She waved and hurriedly went to the direction of the emergency room.

Upon hearing Derek's name, Addison just wanted to bolt out and go back to California; but she knew she couldn't, for Christie's sake. Addison closed her eyes trying to think of the best way on how to drop the bomb. Addison let out a heavy sigh and began walking again.

Five years ago she swore to herself she would not come back to Seattle and she would never walk down these corridors ever again. The walk to Derek's office was a path of memories, good and bad. Memories - millions of seconds and moments that were forever imprinted in her mind and soul. Those images of past times helped her carry on, even after the diagnosis or especially then. Addison walked slowly but determined down the corridors of Seattle Grace Teaching Hospital and towards Derek's office with one thought in mind.

Addison wanted to make more memories. Millions and millions more with her daughter, the sweetest and smartest and most beautiful girl in the world. The one girl who took away her breath and her heart without the intention of doing it at all.

Addison was determined to walk down the hall and face Derek. She was strong enough to tell him the truth and to walk away, from him and her daughter, to fight her fate.

Addison had faith. She believed in Derek and his ability to stand up and walk with her and she had even more faith in Christie who was going to come out of this changed, but stronger.

_It's going be okay, you've practiced what you're going to say to him. Everything will turn out fine." _Addison thought to herself in an attempt to calm herself down. She knocked on the door, but there was no answer. She knocked again, and then she heard somebody standing up from behind the door. _"Here we go."  
_

"Hi Derek!" She greeted as soon as the door opened.

"Addison?" Derek squinted his eyes still not believing that it was in fact his ex-wife in front of him. "Is it really you?"

"Yes, all flesh and blood"

He chuckled at her statement. "Come in." He opened the door for her, at first not noticing the little girl with her.

Addison made her way inside his office and sat down on a chair, placing Christie on her lap. She stared at Derek, he looked the same and different at the same time. He had more gray hairs visible now, not that it made him look ugly, in fact, it even made him look so much more attractive. It somehow symbolized, that he too, has gone through a lot. Finally he has reached his dream of becoming The Chief. She knew that it had always been a goal of his and that was why he was working very hard, he deserved it and she is very proud of him.

Derek took a seat himself. "Wow, it's been a long time since I saw you. And you brought with you an angel" he stated with a smile.

It had been five years since he had last seen his ex-wife. It felt just like yesterday. She was just as beautiful as he remembered. Her curls fell down past her shoulders. The bright red she had been wearing as a mirror to her soul and temper had been replaced somewhere along the way, and Addison was now sporting a darker red instead. It fit her. She seemed calmer, happier and finally at peace with herself. Derek suspected the reason for this change was the little Miss Montgomery in her lap. A girl with bright blue eyes and red curly hair. She appeared to be 3 years old. Addison must have gotten pregnant soon after she left Seattle and him behind to start over in southern California. For just one solitary moment he wondered about the possibilities, the what ifs that tended to wear a soul out and burn wholes into a lover's heart. If he had tried harder, if he had been able to let go of all the resentment and the past, this girl in front of him could have been his. Derek could have been the one who she kissed good night and to read her bedtime stories. He could have made her pancakes for breakfast, buy her ice cream for lunch and snuggle with her after dinner. Addison's girl could have been his daughter and for this one moment he allowed himself to drown in the ocean of regrets. He couldn't do anything about it though, he made a big mistake, and his paying for the consequences until now.

"Yeah, she's my daughter." She agreed.

"So what's your name? I'm Derek Shepherd." He smiled, directing the question to the little girl who was playing with her doll's hair.

Christie looked up to her mother when she heard the name 'Shepherd'. "Mommy, why do we have the same…?"

"Well, I have to talk to you about something." Addison cut her off before even she could continue but the little girl would not give in. She has to know. Stubborn but inquisitive, just like her father.

"We have the same last name." Christie blurted out as if it was just like a casual thing, not a dramatic version of a hidden daughter being introduced to her father. "Coz everybody calls me Christie but my real name is Christie Elizabeth Montgomery-Shepherd."

_**Well, 2**__**nd**__** Chapter is up, I'll try to update soon. Tell me what you think about it.**_


	3. Chapter 3

Derek's eyes widened in shock, his mouth hanging open

_A/N: The third chapter is in and I definitely enjoyed writing this. Big thanks and a big hug to my beta reader, Kerstin who saved me from drowning in the abyss of grammatical errors._

_Disclaimer: Same thing goes. I do not own any of the familiar characters, only the little red-haired girl, Christie. _

Derek's eyes widened in shock and his jaw literally dropped to the floor. He didn't know what to say. His heart pounded so hard that he heard his own blood loudly pulsating in his ears while his hands became clammy; something was churning in his stomach and he couldn't move. It was as if he'd been injected with some kind of a drug that immobilized his whole body without affecting his emotions. He certainly did feel. To his misfortune, though, he didn't know how he felt because he was overcome by different emotions in that moment of truth. Among them was shock for having to find out for the first time that he had a daughter. There was joy; because he had met his daughter and that she is his and Addison's and also anger; because she was hidden from him for almost five years. Above all he felt regret; because he missed the first year of his daughter's life, he wasn't there to hear the first heart beat, to feel the first kick, to witness and welcome her in the world, to see her first smile, to hear her first words and all the other firsts that he missed; but most of all, he wasn't there for Addison. He searched for Addison's eyes for answers to questions that silently posed, but she looked down at her feet.

Christie then added, "Mommy, told me we are going to see my real daddy here, but we haven't met him yet. I'm excited to see him. I hope he'll like me, I've been very well behaved since we left L.A. Right mommy?"

Addison nodded, kissing her little girl's cheek. "You've been great baby." She then felt tears burning in her eyes with her daughter's words. She didn't expect her daughter to be this open, to be so understanding and resilient. She's young, but she knew that Christie understood.

She tried to brush away the tears and faced Derek, "I'm so sorry, Derek. I didn't tell you."

And she truly was. She was sorry for every moment that she took away from him, every memory she withheld . But she did so, believing that she was doing the right thing.

Derek clenched his fist, trying to suppress the anger that was boiling inside him. "I'm not going to discuss this with you in front of Christie but I want her to know…"

Addison nodded, "Baby, I have to tell you something…" she started and positioned Christie so that she was facing her. "Remember when I told you that we'll meet daddy here?"

Christie just nodded.

Addison tucked the red locks that were covering Christie's face. "Well you see, we're actually looking at him" Addison glanced at Derek who was waiting patiently. "Derek Shepherd is your real daddy."

Christie looked at Derek immediately who was smiling softly at her. She went down from Addison's lap and stood in front of Derek. Derek knelt down in front of her and gathered her in his arms.

Derek felt tears forming at the bottom of his eyes. He couldn't believe he had a daughter. A daughter that he and Addison had made. When he held her in his arms, it felt like the missing part of him that he'd been looking for had been slowly filled by this beautiful little creature. He felt like he was home once again after being gone for a long time. It confused him and made him wonder how it was possible for him to feel so much love for this little girl whom he had met only moments ago. After a few more minutes, he let go of Christie. "I'm your daddy" he muttered softly.

The little girl grinned widely. "So does that mean I can call you 'daddy' anytime I want?

He stood up taking Christie with him. "Yes baby, you can call me 'daddy' anytime and every time you want." He answered running his thumb on the little girl's soft cheeks.

Addison felt a tug in her heart with the sight of Derek and Christie, she'd imagined this for so long, she played it in her head over and over again and now it is finally happening. As much as she didn't want to interrupt the father and daughter moment, she had to tell Derek her purpose of being here.

"Derek, I need to talk to you about Christie" she stated.

"I know, Addie. I have so many things to ask and say myself; but I don't want to talk about it right now, in front of her." Derek replied. "How about I drop by later at your place, that way, we can talk after she falls asleep?"

"Yeah sure, it's the same hotel where I normally stay in. Room 542." She smiled at him.

He just nodded and returned his attention to Christie. "So what do you want me to bring you later because I will visit you in your hotel, do you want that?"

Christie's eyes lit up her finger on her cheek and trying to think. "Ummm, how bout some ice cream?"

Derek chuckled softly, "Your wish is granted, my princess." Then his beeper went off. "I have an emergency surgery, I'll see you later." He told Addison, putting down Christie.

"Okay" Addison agreed.

After one last hug from Christie, Derek went swiftly out of the room.

The day went by pretty fast for the mother and daughter, Addison showed her around the city and just practically spent time with her daughter. After both declared that they're tired they went back to their hotel. She didn't really want to go out to eat, so Addison just ordered room service.

While she was just getting Christie ready for bed, Addison heard a knock on the door. She knew it was Derek. She opened the door and led him in. "Good evening" he greeted.

"I was just tucking Christie in for bed, do you want to see her?"

Before Derek could even reply, Christie who had heard her father's voice got out of bed. Barefoot and in her pjs, Christie came running up to Derek shouting "Daddy!" at the top of her voice. Derek immediately picked her up; it felt so good hearing the word coming from his daughter, he never imagined this would ever happen. After his broken marriage and a failed relationship with Meredith, he never really thought about having kids anymore. He thought, it was one of those bygone dreams that would never turn into reality. Not until Addison came back and announced they had a daughter together.

"Where's my ice cream, daddy? I thought you were going to bring me some." Christie asked cupping his father's face with her small hands.

"I have it with me, but I think it's already too late for some ice cream, how about we just put this in the fridge and then tomorrow you can it eat?" he replied, his full attention focused on the little girl.

Christie frowned a little bit before saying agreeing. "But you will tuck me in, right?"

"Of course I will, and I think it's already past your bedtime so we better get you in your bed now," he replied sweetly.

Addison who was just looking at them, felt joy swell up inside of her. At the same time guilt washed over her for depriving her daughter of her father's love for so long. She had always known that Derek would someday be a wonderful father; he had always been kind, gentle and had always something to give from within him. She didn't hide Christie from him because she doubted his ability as a father but because she knew that he was happy with Meredith. She had no right to ruin that. She had hurt him once, when she made a stupid mistake that she will forever regret, she can't take away that happiness he had with Meredith. But now that she was given no choice with this unfair fate that she had to endure, whose future at stake wasn't only hers but Christie's, she had to do what was necessary.

She then directed Derek to where Christie was sleeping. She allowed them to be on their own. She didn't want to intrude.

After a few minutes, Derek walk in to the suites living room "She's asleep." He stated, trying to get Addison's attention who was sitting on the couch reading a book.

"Thank you for tucking her in." Silence surrounded both of them, neither didn't know how to start the conversation.

The tension was so heavy that you could cut a knife through it. After a few moments had passed, Derek finally asked, "Why did you keep her from me?"

Addison who had been acting as calm as possible had to clear her throat first to steady her voice. "When I transferred to California, I didn't know I was pregnant. Two weeks after I arrived, I found out I was already 11 weeks along. I didn't want to make you feel trapped Derek."

Derek sat on a chair across her and looked intensely at Addison, almost as if he might be able to suck out all the answers to his questions right out off her.

"What do you mean you didn't want me to feel trapped? Were you doubting that I wouldn't accept my responsibility?"

"No, not like that. I know how responsible you are, Derek. That's the reason why I didn't tell you. I knew you were finally happy with Meredith. I would have ruined it if I told you." Addison tried to explain as best as she could.

"Damn it! It wouldn't have ruined anything." He retorted.

"I'm so sorry, Derek. I really shouldn't have hidden her from you." Tears were now falling from Addison's eyes. She regretted what she did, but she felt at that time that hiding Christie was the best thing she could do.

Derek rubbed his neck, feeling the tension on it. "I missed 5 years of my daughter's life. I don't even know when her birthday is. I don't know what she weighed and how long she was when she was born. I didn't even know how she looked like when she was a baby. I missed all of those simple little things and I know I can never change that."

Addison just remained silent. She didn't know what to say.

"What are you going to do now, let me see her for the weekend and then you take her away again?" He spat at her.

She shook her head. "No, that wasn't what I was intending to do. In fact, I need you to…"

"I knew you had your other reasons why you came back here." He cut her off. "You didn't just come back here because you wanted Christie to meet me, didn't you?"

"No and yes, I had other reasons." She admitted.

"You are probably that desperate huh?" he sneered at her. "What is it? Money? You need money from me?" he asked, his voice full of anger but he was trying to control the volume of his voice.

"I don't know when I would have told you if this situation hadn't arisen. Maybe you're right, I wouldn't have told you." She admitted looking straight at him in the eyes. She didn't want to lie to him, because it was the truth. She didn't really know when the right timing was to tell him before the diagnosis. But maybe God did have plans for her, maybe this endeavor that she'll be undertaking would bring good things in their life, maybe not in hers, but in Christie's.

"So what is it, is your private practice not doing well which I find hard to believe?" he asked.

"No, it's nothing like that." She started "I need somebody who I know would love and take care of Christie unconditionally."

Derek furrowed his eyebrows, a little bit confused with what she's saying. "I don't understand. Are you leaving?"

She shook her head and looked him in the eyes. She knew that she would turn his world upside down once again with the words she was going to speak now. "I have breast cancer, Derek."

"What?" He asked again, not believing what he was hearing.

"I hope that Meredith doesn't mind if I leave Christie with you. It's still on the early stage, but I have to start chemo therapy as soon as possible. I don't want Christie to see me all weak and helpless. I couldn't leave her with anybody else. I want her to be in the best hands in case something happens to me. If I don't make it…" Her voice started cracking up, she couldn't continue to explain, all she did was cover her face with her hands and sob.

Derek stood up from where he was sitting and knelt beside Addison. He gathered her in his arms. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. How could it happen? When Addison transferred to L.A, he might have not admitted it, but she broke his heart so badly, she tore it into pieces that not even Meredith could put back together. It was the reason why his relationship with Meredith never worked out because she knew that there was no way that she'll be able to replace Addison in his heart and mind. He allowed her to cry in his arms and he allowed his tears to fall too. He'd rather see Addison happy with another man than know that she's no longer in this world at all.

"Addie, you're going to fight this. You have to fight for Christie." He tilted her chin up so that he could look at her eyes. He'd been waiting to hold Addison in his arms again but not under such circumstances.

"I'm going to fight as long as I can, but you have to promise me that if anything happens to me, you and Meredith will take care of Christie."

"Nothing's going to happen to you, you'll get through it." He cupped her tear-stained face. "She looked so beautiful" he thought to himself. He wanted to kiss her so badly but he didn't want to make things complicated as it is.

"I know. But you have to promise me, Derek." She had to hear him swear he'd take care of Christie. She had to have that assurance, that peace of mind.

Derek didn't want to promise, because that would sound and feel like they're both giving up on this battle, but Addison needed to hear it. "I promise." He hugged her even closer and tighter.

"Thank you so much, Derek." She allowed herself to taste this moment, to marvel and relish the feel of Derek's strong arms around her. She'd missed him so much. When she decided to move to California, her initial intention was to start a new life but it felt like she was ending it. In those eleven years of marriage, Derek had been her whole life, and living without him at first was more than she could bear. She thanked God for giving her Christie, because once again she found a reason to live. She thanked Him because it was Derek's baby because she knew that Christie is part of Derek that she can forever hold on to.

Derek lied back down on the couch bringing Addison with him. He didn't want to let her go; he wanted to sooth all the pain that she was feeling at the moment. He could feel that Addison didn't want to pull away either. So they laid there until he felt Addison's even breathing. She had fallen asleep.

Just then that he allowed himself to close his eyes and let slumber lull him to sleep.

_**I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter that I shared with you.**_


	4. Chapter 4

Addison woke up when she felt the ray of sunlight streaming in from the outside

_A/N: Sorry, it took me so long to update. Had a mild attack of writer's block and life outside fanfiction had been just going crazy lately. Thanks again for my beta reader Kerstin for all the help._

_Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters only Christie. _

Addison woke up when she felt the ray of sunlight streaming in from the outside. It had been a long time since she had slept so peacefully, she realized. Just then that the events from the previous night came flooding back in – Derek's visit, the confrontation, her breaking down, and finally Derek's arms enfolding her. She tried to sit up but realized that Derek's arm was still wrapped around her; no wonder she felt so comfortable. She carefully disentangled her body from his, not wanting to wake him up. She sat up very slowly, not making any noise.

"Addie?" Derek spoke huskily in his morning voice.

"Damn it," she cursed softly to herself. "Good morning, ummm…are you staying for breakfast because I'm going to order room service in?" She asked in an unsure tone.

"Yeah, sure." He replied, sitting up rubbing his eyes.

_Shit! Why did he have to look so McDreamy?_

Addison thought to herself before grabbing the telephone. A little irritated with herself for allowing Derek to have that effect on her. The moment Addison sat down the receiver of the hotel phone, the door to the bedroom opened and Christie walked sleepily towards her, stretching her arms, signaling to be picked up by her mother for a bit of morning snuggle time.

"Mommy…" Christie cried out in a whiny voice.

"Morning, baby." She greeted the little girl and also opening her arms for a warm hug. But Christie's face beamed even more when she saw the figure sitting on the couch.

"Daddy?" She asked in a surprised voice as if she couldn't believe it. She then ran to her father, climbing up the couch and settling on his lap. "You're here" she added before giving Derek a sloppy kiss on the cheek.

Derek chuckled at his little girl's words.

The breakfast was successful, thanks to Christie's hyper energy and non-stop rambling that there were only few moments of quiet.

"So what are your plans for today?" Derek inquired, glancing up at Addison.

"Umm..nothing really. Maybe walk around town." Addison answered.

"That's good then because I'm off today. I can take you around. But I have to go home first to have a change of clothes." Derek declared rather than suggested.

Addison wanted to refuse at first, but the father and daughter needed this. They needed to spend time together and bond to make Christie feel comfortable with her father since she will be leaving her to him in three days time. The way it looked, though, it seemed as if the two were very fond of each other. It appeared as though the last five years of estrangement had never happened.

"I'll get Christie ready then so you two can go." Addison said while cleaning up the table.

"Addie, I meant the three of us." Derek stated, making his plans clearer to her.

"Derek, I don't think that's a good idea. I mean…ummm…Meredith. She would mind." She replied but not looking up.

"There is no Meredith." Derek confessed, plain and simple.

Addison looked up immediately, her eyes revealing the many questions upon hearing this. "What?" She asked trying to check if she heard him right.

Derek gave her a weak smile. "Yeah, we broke up a year after you left" he started "but we're not talking about this today. We're going to enjoy. Right baby?" He said, picking up Christie from her seat.

Christie nodded and said a cheerful "Yes" even if she didn't really understand what her father was talking about.

"But daddy, will go home first to change, then we can go to the Children's Museum or maybe the Space Needle. You want that?" He continued, explaining his plan to the amused little girl.

"Yay!!" Christ cried out, but then she shot him a worried look. "You will be back, right? You'll just change, then you'll be back"

Addison's heart clenched when she heard her daughter's question. She knew that Christie is scared that her daddy would disappear or leave her.

"I will be back. I won't ever leave you." Derek promised.

It was almost five o clock in the afternoon and they had just finished eating their afternoon snack and walking towards the Space Needle after a fun tour at the Children's Museum. Christie enjoyed it there tremendously. She wanted to spend the whole day there but after Derek assured her that they will go to a much nicer place and a promise that he will be taking her back there, Christie agreed to be dragged out of the Museum although she was a little hesitant.

"So, we are going up the Space needle, and then you'll see the whole of Seattle." Derek explained to Christie.

Addison stopped in her tracks and her face paled a little bit with the mention of them going up that high. She was scared of heights and although she and Derek had been up the Eiffel Tower, it had been possible because Derek had been holding her hand and trying to calm her down the whole time.

"I'll just wait down here. I don't think I can go up there. You know I'm scared of heights, Derek." Addison explained.

"You went up with me to the Eiffel Tower." Derek retorted.

"But that was different." She replied.

"It's not as scary as you think. C'mon Addie." He didn't give Addison the chance to explain but just took her hand, entwining it with his.

Addison was surprised with his actions. She looked down at their entwined hands and searched Derek's face, who was smiling widely at her. As much as she wanted to pull her hand away, she could not ignore the fact that it felt good. Their hands fitted perfectly, as if hers was made to meld with his.

The trio rode up the elevator silently, Addison getting more nervous by every passing second. "It will be fine." Derek assured her, sensing her agitation.

As soon as they stepped off the elevator and saw the view in front of them, Christie said a loud "WOW!". Addison however, was speechless, taking in the beautiful sight in front of her.

"Do you like it?" Derek asked.

"It's magnificent, Derek."

They stayed there for over an hour, they could not get enough of the view. Derek's hand never left Addison's the entire time.

By the time, Derek pulled over the parking lot of the hotel, Christie was already asleep. Addison looked over the sleeping girl. "She's exhausted but she had fun. Thank you."

"You're welcome. I had fun too." Derek admitted.

"Do you want to come up? I bet you're hungry. The 'afternoon snack' which included ice cream and cookies didn't really fill me up. We can order in."

Derek smiled shyly at her. This was the first step she had taken towards him. It was the first time that he truly felt her opening up to him. Hope started rising up inside of him. Maybe they could eventually be a family and get through everything together. He nodded lightly before he realized that Addison was still waiting for an answer.

"To be honest, I'm starving."

_A/N: I know, this isn't the best way to end the chapter but I wanted to show a little bit of family and bonding time. The idea that my beta reader and I for the next scene, I think, would work better if I put it in another chapter, so that's why I left it this way. I hope you enjoyed this chapter___


	5. Chapter 5

After settling the sleeping Christie on the bed, Derek closed the bedroom door

_**A/N: Big thanks to my beta reader Kerstin. She probably wrote like 2/3 of this chapter and**__** I'm so thankful with her. Sorry for the late update, real world's just getting harder each day. But I do hope that you guys enjoy this chapter.**_

_**Disclaimer: No infringement intended. I don't own any of the characters.**_

After settling the sleeping Christie on the bed, Derek closed the bedroom door. He walked towards the decent sized hotel living room and sighed audibly. "Can we talk about it now?"

"Talk about what?"

Addison looked up at him slowly, her eyes betraying the confusion in her statement. She walked over to the couch and cleared it for Derek and herself, so that they could sit down.

"Addison," he pled with her.

Addison avoided his gaze and grabbed the portable phone instead to place their orders. She dialled quickly and looked up at him briefly to smile at him.

"Hi, I'd like to place a food order for Room 542. Rump steak with sautéed potatoes and..." Addison looked up at Derek who was still leaning against the door with his arms folded above his chest. He sighed in defeat, cleared his throat and nodded slowly before he began to make his way towards her.

"...Make that two steaks please. Thank you."

"There is this elephant in the room. It is massive and pink. It's got all these Christmas lights around its torso which are blinking and if it was able to talk it would hardly shut up."

Derek moved even further towards where she was sitting, when he saw her smile at him, he himself couldn't hide his emotions anymore. He knelt down on the carpet beside her and sandwiched her hands with both of his.

"Sounding a little gay there..." Addison began in an amused voice but was interrupted by Derek's soft calling of her name.

"Addie, please." He moved as close as his position on the floor would allow him. " You and I know that eventually we'd have to talk about what is happening to you. Sooner rather than later."

Addison looked up and into his eyes. What she saw now, what he made public to her and the whole world by the simplicity of his gaze, was more than she had hoped for when she had come to Seattle a couple of days ago. When she first arrived, she had simply tried to integrate him in his daughter's life that he had not even known existed until then. But now, she was taken aback by the strength and intensity of his eyes. She saw his fear of losing her, his regret of not meeting his daughter earlier and being a family with Addison and his love for her and her daughter. A love that may not be as intense and all-overpowering as it used to be years and years ago, but there is love that connects people who have spent a majority of their lives together and have been lovers for most it, that will never ever vanish.

"I know," she sighed and hung her head for a moment to gather her thoughts before looking him in the eyes again. Even after almost twenty years he still held power over her, he could still make her lose herself in him and his promising eyes. "I just wish I had more time to pretend that everything was fine. I know that I am sick and that I am going to go through hell. Believe me, there is not a moment that I am not aware of my diagnosis. But today when I was with you and Christie for the first time since I was told, I was not scared. So, all I really want is stretch this moment as wide as I can and hide inside."

When she was finished, Addison had tears in her eyes. Derek acted on instinct as he sat up quickly next to her on the couch and engulfed her in a tight hug. He rocked her gently and rubbed her back soothingly.

Addison let herself fall apart and mourn her fate for the first time since she had been presented with the diagnosis breast cancer. It may be a little surprising that it was in a hotel room in Seattle, but it was not at all that surprising that it was Derek who was holding her and promising the impossible in a calm voice and a many reassuring words.

"I just wish," Addison choked out between sobs, "that I could shield Christie from all this. That I could keep her from all this pain."

"Sssh, Addie. We'll get through this." Derek said confidently as he continued to rub her back. "We'll manage. Together, together, we'll do it."

"I wish I didn't have to leave her." Addison said leaning back a little to look at Derek.

"No, Addie. No one's going to leave anyone. You'll get through this.." Derek took her face in both of his hands and caressed her cheeks softly.

"No, I know." Addison leaned into his touch and moved a little closer to him. She liked feeling him so close and being able to breath him in. "It's not what I meant. I already told the reason why I came here, Derek, I want you to take care of her while I go through chemo. I don't want her to see me like that. She's so young. I don't want her to see that, to see me when I might..." Addison was interrupted by Derek's lips on hers.

For a second, Addison froze and was taken aback by Derek's actions. But it felt too good, so she allowed herself to drown in this sweet indulgence. The kiss was sensual and meaningful, a confirmation of everything that they had established between the two of them in the past. And when they broke apart, they felt the loss weigh on them; the loss of innocence.

Her eyes stung with warm tears. The moment was so surreal, that all she wanted was block away the harsh realities, that maybe she could pretend that everything was going to be perfect and normal but she knew deep inside her that it wasn't the case.

Cancer. It's not just a diagnosis, it's a free falling sword on a blind dancer.

Addison might be stumbling in the future, but she will not fall and she will not lose.

Derek rested her forehead on Addison's, looking through her eyes. He saw a myriad of emotions dancing around those bluish-green pair.

"You can't leave, Addie. Stay here." He spoke, a tint of fear evident in his voice.

Addison shook her head. "I can't. I have to. I already have a schedule for my chemo, and besides my oncology specialist is there."

"We have good doctors here." He retorted.

"I already have a trusted doctor there in L.A., Derek. She's the best in this field. I'm sure you know her." She replied.

Derek wove his hand through Addison's hair, helping her relax. Derek nodded. "But I want to take care of you too. I want to be there for you. I want to show you how much I love you, Addie."

Addison's eyes lit up with his admission and gave him a weak smile through her tears. "Don't worry about me, just take care of Christie. It will be enough."

Derek heaved out a heavy sigh. "Fine, I'm coming with you to California."

Addison pulled away from him, shocked with his impulsive decision. "You can't be serious."

"Oh yes I am."

"You can't do that. I'm not going to allow you to do that. Seattle is your home, Derek. You have your whole life and career here. You've finally attained the dream that you've been working hard for a long time. You're now the Chief."

"Yeah, a dream that blinded me from what was so much more important. A dream that made me lose what meant so much to me – us." Derek's voice was full with regret.

Addison's heart tugged with his word. "No, it wasn't only your fault. It was both of us, Derek.

"You see, at first, when I earned the position, I thought it was going to complete me. I thought that it will mean the whole world to me, but instead, I found myself leading this meaningless life. I realized that a dream fulfilled is useless without the love of your life to share it with."

Addison smiled but panic rose in her when she thought about the 'what ifs'. "But what if you don't like L.A? What if you feel that it's too warm for you, that it's too busy? Or what if you see me all weak and you realize that you're fed up with taking care of me? What if you wake up one morning and realize that you made the biggest mistake of your life or that you don't want to be stuck with me? What…"

Derek silenced her with quick kiss. He took both of Addison hands into his. "It's not going to happen because I've already lived my life without you, and it was hell. I'm going to be the most stupid person if I let that happen again."

Addison wound her arms around Derek and pulled him towards her for a passionate kiss. "Gosh, why are so darn stubborn?" She spoke against his lips.

"Hey, I'm not the only one who's stubborn you know." He said while running kisses along Addison's jaw.

"Yeah right, but you're more stubborn." Addison replied grinning widely.

"Really?" Derek lowered Addison on the couch not breaking contact with her skin. "I'll show you what a stubborn man can do." He replied playfully.

The night slowly wore off with only the sounds of lovers rekindling the passion which in truth, never really went away.

_**So, I know I'm not very comfortable with writing squee, but if you guys want **__**some that can be arranged coz my beta-reader seems to okay with writing addek smut. So just holler me if you want some so I can ask her favour.**_


	6. Chapter 6

Derek roused when he realized that the room around him seemed brighter

_**A/N:**__ I totally forgot to post this story. I can't believe it got off my mind. This has been ready for over a week. Oh gosh. Sorry for the late update. I don't really have a very good excuse except for being busy. The smut part was written by my greatest beta reader in the whole world __Kerstin__ or 'Wishing for a Love Like This'. _

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own any of the familiar characters. If I did, Derek wouldn't be with Meredith, because I still believe that Addison is the love of his life and will always be._

Derek roused when he realized that the room around him seemed brighter. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, trying to adjust to the morning light. He then glanced to his left and saw Addison's sleeping form, lying comfortably on the makeshift bed that they had set up in the middle of the hotel suite's living room. He laid back down and positioned himself so that he was facing Addison. He allowed himself to just stare at Addison, observing every detail of her beautiful face, memorizing every single line, listening to her faint snore, and just absorbing everything that was Addison. '_How could I have allowed myself to let her go'_ he thought to himself. But he knew that what had happened between the two of them was all part of the past. He had learned from it and promised himself that it was not going to happen again.

He tried his best to restrain himself from running his thumb across her rosy cheeks, or kiss her swollen lips which were a sure evidence of their last night's lovemaking. But he could not take it any longer so he gave in and kissed her chastely on the lips.

Addison stirred a little when she felt pressure on her lips but ignored it. Then she felt a tingling sensation on the tip of her nose, she groaned and buried her face in the pillow, ignoring him once again. But then, it seemed like that the man beside her was very stubborn and continued to run kisses along her bare shoulder, her exposed neck and the sensitive spot behind her ear sending shivers down her spine.

"Derek." Addison mumbled against the pillow.

"Hey, wake up sleepy head" Derek spoke in his husky morning voice.

"It's still early" she replied "plus, you wore me out last night" she added. Her face still buried on the softness of the pillow.

_Earlier that night…_

_Derek carried Addison over to the bed and laid her down softly, hovering his own body over hers. He kissed the side of her mouth, along her jaw line and down her neck, softly biting her skin every once in a while. His hands wan__dered under her shirt, caressing her stomach and breasts. Addison put up her hands and allowed him to take off the black garment. Derek was taking her left nipple into his mouths when Addison was rocking her pelvis against his and moaned loudly. _

_His hands. His skilled surgeon hands roamed all over her body, caressing the soft skin of her breasts and trailing painfully slow downwards, over her toned stomach and stopping shortly at her belly button. He placed tender kisses around it before letting his lips re-explore the delicate skin of her inner thighs._

_It had been too long since he had last touched her, but even longer since he had last been with her and only her. With all of his body and mind. Without thoughts of Mark touching his wife in places that were vowed to be only his to caress and without the longing for another woman, the fantasy of what if._

_Derek's__ hands were working fast to unzip her dark blue jeans and pushing them off to join his on the hotel room floor. Derek kissed his way up her right leg, stopping on her inner thigh and letting two of his finger slip under the hem of her red silky panties. She moaned loudly again and rocked her body against his hand. Derek pulled down her panties and took off his own boxer briefs afterwards._

_When Derek's tongue tenderly caressed Addison's most intimate and sensitive skin, her hips buckled up off the mattress. He struggled with his hands to keep her down, so he could continue with his ministrations._

_Addison moaned in slight protest, but was soon satisfied with pleasure as Derek's hand found his way down her hip to where his tongue had been only moments before. Derek rubbed circles on Addison clitoris with his right thumb while his mouth covered hers, silencing the raspy moans of his ex-wife._

_Derek kissed her chastely on the lips once more before letting his mouth wander along her jaw line on a path of soft kisses._

"_Derek, please," Addison pled with him. Her voice raspy and barely above a whisper. "I want you. Now."_

_Hearing this, Derek felt a smile form on his lips. He whispered softly in her ear, his voice heavy with arousal. "How could I possibly deny a request from a woman as beautiful as you."_

_He settled himself over her again, his mouth hovering over hers and as he entered her he kissed her hard, causing them to groan into each other´s mouth._

_He took her head into his hands, looking at her intensely while moving in and out of her. Addison placed her right leg on his back, giving him better access. She closed her eyes and bit down on her lower lip. __It felt so good, so right._

_When Derek felt that they were both close to their release__, he kissed the side of Addison's mouth tenderly and afterwards her eye lids. In that moment all he needed was for them to truly and completely connect._

"_Addie," he breathed, "Open your eyes. Please."_

_When she did, he covered her lips with his own once more. Her eyes were glassy and dilated from the bliss of the moment. They looked into each other eyes eyes. A moment of truth, one might say. They were both overcome by many different emotions. Two of those, the most important ones, were love and gratitute. A love so strong and unique, no matter how long you deny and how deep you bury it in the depths of your heart, it will always spring to life again eventually. Also gratitute because even though you will someday experience that one true love again, there is no promise anyone can make you that it won't be too late in sometimes._

"_Come for me, Addie."_

_After muttering those words he sent her over the edge with his thumb on her clit and himself moving inside of her. He followed her only moments later. They moaned each other's name into the darkness of the night._

_They fell asleep shortly after, legs tangled and hands interwined. _

_It had been years since she had been his, and Derek was determined to claim her back in every way possible. After all she was his Addison. His Addie. The love of his life and mother of his daughter._

"But it was a very good work out, don't you think?" He teased.

Addison faced him and grinned widely. "Very good, indeed." She then leaned in for a long and toe-curling kiss.

"I don't mind waking up this way everyday." Derek chuckled after he had regained his normal breathing.

"Oh, but you know I'm not this nice every morning. You've witnessed some of my cranky mornings." She warned him and added "You're just lucky today."

"I'll just wish for more luck, then." He smiled and reached up to tuck the strand of red locks blocking her morning glow.

Addison smiled back but it dawned on her that, chemo will definitely give her crappy mornings. Just like morning sickness, but worse. "Seriously Derek, I can't promise to be waking up this way especially when I'm sick.

He cupped her face and said "I know, Addie. I'm not just referring to morning kisses when I said how I wanted to wake up every morning. I know there'll be rough mornings but I still want to wake up beside you."

Tears started to flow from Addison's eyes; she was touched with how sincere his words were. "You always make me cry." She chuckled softly, even through the tears that had sprung to her eyes.

"I know and I'm very sorry." He replied before gathering her in his arms. He just held her for a long time, proving to himself and to her that he meant every word.

The intimate moment was cut short by the sound of Christie's voice calling out for her mother. "Mommy?"

Addison brushed away her tears. "We're here baby" she uttered in reply before she realized that she was still naked underneath the blanket.

"Derek, I'm still naked." She whispered to her ex-husband. She didn't want Christie to have a traumatic memory of seeing her parents in bed, butt-naked. She herself had a few of those memories and they weren't very pleasant.

Derek chuckled; looking at Addison's panicked expression. "Don't worry babe, I have my boxers on. I'll distract her so you can go and change." Derek leaned in for another kiss before standing up. He then proceeded to the bedroom to greet his daughter who was already half-way going to the living room.

"Morning, angel." He greeted, took her up and kissed the little girl's cheeks.

"Morning, daddy."

"Did my baby sleep well?"

"Yeah, but I heard something last night. But I was already too sleepy." The little girl admitted.

"Umm…" Derek blushed and was unsure on how to reply at first. "It must have been just a dream."

"Yeah, maybe" Christie agreed.

Derek sighed in relief, glad that he didn't have to explain to her four-year old daughter what or maybe who elicited those sounds. "So what do you want for breakfast?"

"Chocolate-chip pancakes." Christie replied enthusiastically with the mention of breakfast.

_**A/N: **__I hope you enjoyed the update. Btw, I don't think the hyperlink worked. Does anybody know how to do it? I have no idea how to do it. Thanks_


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: I know it's been so long since I've updated. I already probably lost all of my readers but it's okay, I'm still writing this fic and finishing it. A million thanks to my beta reader, Kerstin (she's seriously the best!), that even if she too had her own things to do, she always tries to find time to beta read my chapters and also for her kind and encouraging words. Love yah! _

_Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters._

After the trio had finished breakfast, Derek had to excuse himself and explain to her daughter that they will not be spending the whole day together because he had to work. It broke his heart a little bit to do it because he had been kind of used to being around Addie and Christie the past few days. It was also unmistakable that Christie was not very happy with her father's announcement that there will be no Children's Museum tour for that day. But with the assurance that he will be home for dinner, and a promise that he'll read her the Cinderella story later that night, Christie let him go. He gave Addie a long kiss, much to the disgust of their daughter who was looking up at them.

"See you later." He waved before leaving.

_After a quick stop at his place for a shower and a change of clothes, he made his way to_ Seattle Grace Hospital.

Derek spent his whole morning calling the boards of the hospital explaining to them why he was so suddenly and surprisingly resigning from his position as Chief of Surgery. All of them did not see it coming, they tried to convince him to stay by telling him that it was too soon and he was giving up too much. But he was firm, his decision had been made; he also assured all of them that he had found somebody who is very capable of filling in his position. After approximately an hour of debating and explaining everything, they gave in. Even though they weren't very thrilled, they extended to him their gratitude for his service to Seattle Grace Teaching Hospital and that they would include him and his family in their prayers.

After lunch, Derek had called for an emergency meeting. Surgeons and nurses were all equally surprised by the sudden meeting and wondering about the topics the Chief might be addressing. The hall was eventually filled by nurses, interns, residents and attending physicians. Everybody was chit-chatting with their friends and speculating what this meeting's purpose could be.

"Ehem," Derek coughed to get all of their attention. Everybody then stopped talking, waiting for his announcement. When he started speaking, he did so calmly and determined, "You might be wondering why I called in this meeting. I know that this was very sudden but it is a very important matter and therefore left me with no other choice. I have been in a meeting with the hospital board earlier today where I informed the ladies and gentlemen that I was resigning as Chief of Surgery of Seattle Grace Hospital, immediately effective."

Each employee gasped and was shocked by his statement. Bailey who was sitting in front, asked Yang to repeat what Derek had just said if and asking if she heard him right. Izzie who was sitting behind Bailey chuckled, hoping that he was just pulling their leg. Hahn and Torres looked at each other, confused and surprised.

Derek started talking again. "I know this came as a surprise to all of you, but you don't have to worry about anything. The board and I have gone over all necessities and have come to a decision that both parties were more than in favor of. Together we chose someone that we think can continue to make this hospital one of the leading ones in this country and the top teaching hospital on the west coast. The new Chief will fill this position as efficiently and as capable as me or maybe even better than me." He paused a moment, allowing the employees some time to comprehend to everything that he had just said. "Dr. Miranda Bailey, you have been appointed to take my place as Chief of Surgery."

Dr. Bailey's mouth just hung open, she didn't know if she should be happy or sad. She wasn't even sure if she was truly competent for this position.

"Dr. Bailey, come here and take over." Derek signaled and invited Miranda come stand beside him.

Miranda stood up and went to stand beside him but was still in shock of what just happened. She looked at him intently. "You're kidding, right?"

"I don't kid around about things as serious as this" he replied, smiling at her.

"I don't know what to say, Dr. Shepherd" Miranda admitted.

Derek turned his attention once again to the crowd. "I just want to take this opportunity to thank all of you. It was a pleasure working here at Seattle Grace. I learned a lot of things, not only in terms of the medical field. I have lost friends but have gained life-long relationships. My family needs me now and I need them. As you all know, all of us here wouldn't be here right now, without the love of our lives. So, I just wish you all the best and I know that Dr. Bailey will be a very good Chief. Don't mess with the Nazi. Just kidding. Thank you very much." Although some people were still in a state of shock, a minor portion started clapping and the rest joined in unison.

"Please take the floor." He whispered to her handing the microphone. Miranda looked at him irritated before taking the microphone off of his outstretched hand. Derek just smiled and gave the female doctor a hug. "I believe in you." He muttered before pulling away and stepping back from the center of attention. He stayed a little bit to listen to Dr. Bailey's speech, more likely a rambling of how it surprised her and that she wasn't prepared for it. But nonetheless she knew how important family was and that the family at Seattle Grace was special, kind, close, sometimes a pain in the ass, but always able to make a difference. Love always makes a difference. She demanded love from her employees, love and dedication for their jobs and to give - always to give the best and more, so they could continue to make a difference and become the best hospital in the country.

He then proceeded to his office and started to pack all of his things. His eyes hovered around it, thinking back of how he had always dreamed of sitting exactly on this chair and being the Chief of a prestigious hospital. He smiled weakly on how ironic sometimes life could be. You achieve what you have been working hard for, even sacrificed the most important people and relationships just to reach that goal, but when you finally have it in your hands, you realize there is still something missing. But as ironic as life could be, he was thankful for the second chance that he had been given with Addison, the love of his life, and Christie, his daughter. A chance to make right what he had so easily let slip from his grasp before.

Some doctors dropped by his office just to say goodbye to him personally including Izzie, George, Christina, Erica, Callie, Lexie, Alex, the new Chief and even Rose. He was glad to see them and personally thank them for everything they had done for him and for the hospital he had the honor to run for as long as he did.

Before he realized it, he was all packed up, and making his way out of Seattle Grace Teaching Hospital, the place which had been his sanctuary for almost seven years. He took one last look at it and sighed deeply during his last moment of contemplation, doubt even, before a small smiled formed on his lips. He was not leaving.

He was finally coming home.


End file.
